We're back with WellSet Instructor and self-love coach Aubree Henderson to dig into one of those buzzwords that seem to be on everyone's lips these days: boundaries. She defines them as guidelines, rules or limits that you create to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for others to relate and respond to you. It's a tangible concept when it comes to the physical world, but how do we set boundaries at work in order to maintain a healthy, safe and productive environment? Read on.
Q: Why are boundaries so important in the workplace?
Boundaries support our emotional and mental energy, ensuring we have the ability to do our best work. Upholding our boundaries ensures that we are treated with the respect that we deserve in a professional setting, to ask for what we need and feel respected and appreciated. Boundaries also allow us to conserve the energy we need for our lives outside the workplace, and the things that bring us joy and nourishment.
Q: What do poor boundaries look like at work?
These may vary depending on your circumstances, company or role, but a few common signs:
- Feeling like every email or request is an emergency that you must respond to immediately
- Feeling the need to be available at all hours of the day, including times outside of your scheduled work hours
- A sense of responsibility for everyone else's success or failure, whether or not you are actually accountable for them or their goals
- Fear of saying no or setting a limit with someone because you are worried about retaliation or other negative repercussions
- Significant guilt for taking time off, whether it's sick time or much-needed vacation time
Q: Why are boundaries so challenging to set in a professional environment?
Setting boundaries at work can be really, really hard in particular because work is attached to our livelihood. It can feel impossible to say no or set limits when you need your income to survive. A lot is also out of our control at work and when things are out of our control it's difficult to set boundaries.
Q: What role do relationships in the workplace play in our ability to set boundaries?
We are naturally conditioned to seek approval from others, especially in a professional setting. We are constantly seeking approval so the idea of saying no or setting a boundary can feel terrifying. This is compounded if you are seeking professional growth opportunities, as you are often encouraged to take on more work, not less.
Boundaries support our emotional and mental energy, ensuring we have the ability to do our best work. They also allow us to conserve the energy we need for our lives outside the workplace. –Aubree Henderson
Q: What are some strategies for setting boundaries at work?
1. Communicate your boundaries directly, honestly and collaboratively. Start by practicing saying no in small, attainable ways. Offering a solution can also go a long way to maintaining your working relationships and collaborative spirit. For example, if you don't have time to chat with a colleague when they stop by your desk, propose a different time.
2. Honor your time off. If you have paid time off, please use it. We are not meant to work continuously without time off. Likewise, limit your work to your designated hours whenever possible in your workplace culture. If you're unsure about the expectations, having that conversation is a subtle way of boundary setting. Bonus points for getting that conversation in writing. Whatever answer you receive is information about your role or your workplace; it might be a dealbreaker for you or not a big deal, but getting clear will empower you to assess the situation clearly. Finally, your time off includes being mindful of your email usage outside of work. Checking or reading it, even when not required, takes up up mental energy. Snooze those notifications during your personal time and delete email apps when you're on vacation.
3. Manage your workload. Say no to tasks or deliverables that will require you to work overtime. Keep your supervisor up to date on your workload and priorities more often than you think you need to so that they are aware of what's on your plate and how you're spending your time. Be as transparent and concrete as possible. That way, when a new project or ask comes up they have context for your workload and can help you shift priorities as needed.
4. Be mindful of work relationships. Notice which relationships feel nourishing versus draining. Identifying those individuals can help you manage, whenever possible, who you spend time with and what you share with them. Remember: You are an employee. Your colleagues and supervisor are professional relationships, not your family or dependents. Maintaining healthy relationship boundaries at work will ensure you have emotional and mental bandwidth for loved ones.
Q: How do we ask for what we need at the risk of feeling demanding, selfish—or losing our jobs?
We can set boundaries by operating from a place of kindness and assertiveness while acknowledging the humanity of the person you're approaching. Repeat this mantra as often as needed to ground your intention: It is possible for me to be kind and collaborative and to set boundaries firmly.
It's entirely possible to set boundaries at work and keep your job! However, the reality and demands of a job and the need to maintain the security of employment and income is not lost on me, which is why I want to underscore that while boundaries are critical to your overall health and wellbeing, ensuring that your basic needs are met is of the utmost importance.
Work Well